Events that have transpired in the last 6 hours have inspired me to write the following manifesto, effective immediately:
I, Eli B.,
(1) Will cease to watch serialized television programs past the end of May sweeps (specifically, the season finales of Heroes and Lost). This includes but is not limited to broadcast television, satellite or cable television, DVD rentals, online streaming, or online downloading. This ban will stay in effect for at least thirty (30) days. (This is the big one)
(2) Will write at least one short story within the next thirty (30) days.
(3) Will write at least one song, for guitar or otherwise, before the end of the summer.
(4) Will not be unemployed at point for a period longer than one (1) week. (Tough, but working on it).
(5) Will grow some balls. (Aka. Date people. This line used to be “To make a conscious effort to date”. Yoda’s spirit came and pwned me: do or do not, little boy. There is no try…)
(6)And finally, will update this damn blog at least once a week until at least Labor Day weekend, even be the post triter than a Katie Couric/Today show fluff piece. That said, there should be at least one ‘real’ post every two (2) weeks.
(7) These, of course, are a bare minimum. The manifesto can always be added to, but there are no retractions.
The intentions of the manifesto is to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve done basically my entire adolescent life this summer, because damn it, I’ve wasted too damn much of it already, because the only way I’m ever going to internalize the will to do over the urge to do not is to put my intentions down in written form (nee pen and paper) and then doggedly stick to them; end of story. This is going to be boot camp for a happy life; God and all the rest o’ y’all better be on my side – I’m gonna need it.